Postcards from the Edge(s)

I've attempted writing several different drafts explaining my long lapse between blog posts- it being four months since I last posted-but none have worked. A lot has happened in the last four months and I struggle with how to broach the (heavy) subjects with which I've been dealing with. How does one discuss depression and an eating disorder in a single blog post?

Do I write an informative essay about depression to help people better understand the illness? There are a lot of people who don't know enough about it nor what to say to those who are depressed.

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"Tash! How are you?"

"Terrible. I struggled getting out of bed this morning and cried while I brushed my teeth. How are you?"

*Do you see why most depressed people just say "I'm fine."?

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And how do I write about depression without getting bogged down myself? It's not an easy subject to tackle, especially when you are suffering from it. At one point I considered writing a tongue-in-cheek Guide to Depression but trying to add humor to a dark topic felt flippant and disrespectful. But maybe I'll be flippant later and write it anyways.

Then there's the Binge Eating Disorder and all the things that go with it: namely culture, my personal history, body image, genetics, gender roles, the billion dollar diet industry, the ever evolving definition of health, medical studies and statistics...

--Cue image of my brain exploding.--

How do I even begin? Where do I begin?

If I've learned anything from the healing process, it's that the most important thing is just start somewhere. Every journey begins with a single step, right?

Hello. I'm Natasha. This is my blog. I've been gone from it for awhile. Now I'm back.

Instead of cramming a host of delicate and complicated issues into one blog post, consider this a postcard from my recent emotional/mental/physical/spiritual journey. I'll fill you in more when I "get back".

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Hello from Recovery!

I have depression. Wish you were here! I also have Binge Eating Disorder. The food here is incredible! I am in recovery and learning so much. Looking forward to sharing it all with you later on.

As I look out my window I see blinding white snow covering the frozen ground in dazzling sheets. The sky is scrubbed blue and luminous. Only the velvet green Spruce stand apart from the winter palette of whites and blues. It's all so lovely. Today I feel happy and it feels so good. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, but today, I feel happy. Life is a trip, huh?

I'll be seeing you soon.

xoxo

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#selfacceptance #selflove #writer #eatingdisorder #depression #blogger